


A Demon's Warmth

by Dolphintreasure



Category: jacksepticeye, web shows, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Antisepticeye Sean McLoughlin, Birthday Presents, Coping, Depression, Drama, Henrik von Schneeplestein - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Loss, M/M, Men Crying, No Smut, Platonic Cuddling, Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 05:37:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14301948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dolphintreasure/pseuds/Dolphintreasure
Summary: Henrik has a really bad day before his birthday. Then, Anti shows up...





	A Demon's Warmth

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, this is my first post on here. I have some one-shots for this fandom that I just want to share. Enjoy, everyone!

Henrik sighed as he fell into bed. It was a little after 10 pm and he was now just getting home from his fourteen hour shift at work. The emergency room was so fucking busy, today. Henrik saw two child abuse cases, one which involved removing a hanger from the kid’s mouth, a woman went into cardiac arrest during labor, a boy was hit by a car...and unfortunately, Henrik lost that little boy during surgery.

What's worse is that tomorrow was the doctor's birthday. That's just the memory he needed before bed: that little boy's mother crumpling to the floor in agony of losing her baby boy. And the kid’s eyes...staring at him, but not seeing. Henrik sobbed at the thought.

"I tried," he said aloud to the empty room. He wiped his tired eyes to keep the tears at bay. "I'm sorry."

Henrik rolled over turning his light out. Curling up, he wept himself to sleep trying to rid his mind of the horrible images.

****

It was later that night he woke to a strange feeling. It felt as if he was not alone. It made the doctor uneasy causing his blood to run cold and his heart drop to his stomach. He slowly opened his eyes trying to get a feel for what may be causing his dread.

He opened his eyes to stare into the dark realizing he was still on his left side facing his side table with the lamp. He blinked as a simple flash of the bulb brightened without cause. It flickered filling the room with a soft electrical hum. His tired mind couldn't figure out what was going until it all became clear with sudden clarity. It usually only meant one thing…

Anti was in the room with him.

The doctor sat up in bed, then, quickly scanning the dark room trying to locate the pesky demon. He wasn't afraid, per say, but this was very unusual behavior for Anti. Being dangerous and unpredictable couldn't mean good things for the doctor who was very much alone; very much vulnerable. However, Anti was nowhere to be seen.

"I'm not in the mood, Anti," Henrik sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Go bother Jack, or something. It's -" he looked at his clock "- three in the morning."

Of course, he got no response.

"Anti, please, I've had a very bad day. I just want to sleep. Whatever it is you want, just... you know what? I don't care. Just do whatever you want." Henrik knew he was taking a risk offering an open invitation to the demon like that, but he was too physically and emotionally exhausted to care at this point.

Again, he received no response from the room. Henrik yawned and rubbed his face before he lied back down on his left side. Truth be told, he was terrified, right now. His heart beat was rampant in his rib cage as images of today's events plus his own potential death crossed his mind. A part of him believed that Anti was not a real killer. But that didn't mean he wasn't violent. It scared him. Still, Henrik closed his eyes trying to will happy images into his brain, instead. But all he could see was the little boys face looking at him with glassy eyes. That image was more terrifying than Anti’s threats.

***

He kept looking at the clock every fifteen minutes annoyed that he hasn't fallen back to sleep. And he tried; he really did, but that little boy kept haunting him. The image clawed at his skin causing itching sensations all over his body. Henrik's muscles twitched under the hot blanket which he eventually threw off and towards the edge of the bed while scratching at his arms almost frantically.

And the room was so loud. Henrik could hear people screaming, heart monitors going crazy, and his own voice instructing nurses with a sense of dread and fright. The clinking of tools used to save people's lives felt like stab to his ear drums with each passing second. Henrik sobbed to himself trying to use his own clock to clear his mind, but the sounds...the horrible images remained unmoved.  
~~~~  
The dreadful heart monitor beeped faster and faster. Henrik yelled at his staff to gain control of the boy's life ensuring that they all kept together to bring him back.

Beep...beep...beeeeeeeee...

Henrik remembered trying so hard to bring the boy back. He desperately wanted to watch the little boy run to his parents, be gathered in their arms smiling so wide. And he would live a long life after that. He would grow up, maybe start s family, have an amazing career, and live to the ripe old age of 100.

But the beeping was too loud. It overshadowed the doctor’s confidence in his own abilities. Henrik remembered taking the stethoscope off the boy's chest shaking his head at his staff before moving away from the gurney. The nurses watched him leave, sadness filling the room. Henrik walked away from the stream of the drawn out beeping ripping his damn mask off his face and tossing it to the floor. Tears were in his eyes as he walked into the waiting room. He strode up to the parents who looked to him for all the answers in the world and he didn't have them. He never felt so powerless. The mother had hope in her eyes while the father held her hand and rubbed her shoulders. Henrik took a breath to compose himself before delivering the devastating news of their little boy's death. He was only five years old.

***

Henrik sobbed as the final part of the memory finally faded away. He could no longer hear the beeping sound. All he heard was silence. His shoulders shook as he cried into the palms of his hands muffling his sounds with his fingers. He turned his face into his pillow gripping it hard with his wet fingers trying to get ahold of himself. He couldn't stop shaking.

And he didn't realize his light flickered for a split second, again.

He didn't even notice the bed had shifted behind him as something carefully crawled into bed with him.  
…

"Henrik..."

That's when he stopped. Henrik held his breath as his name trickled into his ear letting another tear slip onto his nose. Was he dreaming? And the voice; it sounded like...

"Anti?" He whispered.

"Mhmm."

Henrik almost made a break for it out of pure terror. However, before he made it off the bed, a large strong arm wrapped around his chest initiating a solid grip to prevent that from happening.

"No no no. Shh shh shh, don't struggle. Relax, now," the demon whispered in his hair with a gentleness Henrik never knew he had. "It's alright."

Henrik did his best to calm down as Anti started caressing his hair with a free hand. Anti gently threaded his fingers through the strands hoping to calm the terrified doctor.

"Please...please don't kill me," Henrik pleaded in a whisper.

"I'm not here to kill you," Anti whispered nuzzling the doctor's hair with his cheek. "I'm here to help you..."

"Help me?" Henrik inquired confused.

"I saw you crying," Anti stated with sincerity. The doctor flinched slightly as he felt Anti press into his back fully hugging him close until they were flush together. "I want to help you feel better."

Henrik remained silent for a moment trying to gather his thoughts together. Was Anti serious? He honestly couldn’t tell; demons were very good at lying. And yet, Anti remained unmoved; he just lay behind the stiff doctor caressing his hair. It felt…nice. Henrik felt his heart calming slightly, starting to let himself trust the demonic being. A part of him knew he shouldn't let his guard down, but he was too weak literally and figuratively to fight back. He would if he had to, but being in this state of vulnerability, his chances of fighting off this creature was despairingly slim. Instead, Henrik took his chances with the inevitable and allowed himself to relax in the demons grip not moving his heavy body any more than he needed to. He half sobbed and half sighed hitching his breath a bit before sniffing as his mind resumed the hospital scenario, again.

Anti hugged him tighter continuing to nuzzle Henrik's ear and neck making a soft purring sound.

"Tell me what to do," Anti whispered in his ear making the man shudder in slight terror and excitement. “What can I do to help you?”

"Can...can you make me forget?" Henrik replied softly. "Can you erase my memory, or let me relive this whole day again so I can do things right?"

"Even if I could and you did do things right, do you think you would've saved him?"

Henrik paused. He thought long and hard about the events of today. He pondered Anti’s statement, analyzing the logic behind it hoping to have an answer for the seemingly serious demon that included saving the boy’s life. A part of him was offended by Anti's statement...however, the more he thought, the more he realized...the boy was doomed from the start. He rethought everything; anything and everything in his medical studies, practices, procedures, knowledge. He steadily came to the conclusion that Anti's statement was, indeed, logical. The whole scenario from start to finish was a part of his life out of his control. Henrik did do everything correctly to save that little boy and he ended up dying, anyway. His injuries were too severe. Even if he did survive, the boy would've either been brain dead, or end up in a coma.

Henrik sighed as a fresh tear crawled from his eye. Carefully, Henrik reached up with his own arms wrapping them around Anti's bringing the clawed talons beneath his rib cage. He snuggled backwards trying to get closer to the demon and closed his eyes. He didn’t know why he was cuddling closer to him, but the warmth was actually…comforting; solid and protective. He sniffed loudly before sighing as he finally settled. Anti didn't move at all. He just waited for the doctor to stop moving before speaking again.

"Henrik..."

"Tell me I'm a good person," Henrik whispered. "Tell me that I am a good doctor. Tell me that I did everything I could to save him..."

It was silly and narcissistic to want praise about his abilities as a doctor, as a persona, and as a professional, but Henrik needed some type of security right now. Maybe hearing it from a different perspective would help him feel better.

It was quiet for a moment before Anti spoke softly into his ear.

"You're a good doctor, you're a good person, and you did everything you could to save him," Anti replied almost word for word still gently smoothing a hand in the doctor's frayed soft hair.  
Henrik sighed feeling content, again. It was just what he needed. Even coming from a demon of Hell…or, wherever Anti had come from…meant more to him now than it would have ten minutes ago before Anti even showed up. He couldn’t convince himself that he was a good person, so hearing it from an outside source actually brought an inner peace over his person.

"Thank you,” Henrik whispered.

"You did everything you could to save him," Anti repeated quietly.

Henrik nodded his head and closed his eyes. "Mhmm."

"You are a good person."

"Anti, you can stop-"

"You did everything you could to save him..."

Henrik opened his eyes trying to turn his head towards the demon in slight confusion. "Anti, I-"

"You need to know, Henrik. You need to know that you are a good person. You need to know that you did everything you could because you are a good doctor. You didn't give up on that little boy. You didn't give up on yourself until you knew he was gone. I saw you, Henrik. I was there with you. I saw everything."

Henrik froze listening intently now turning his head back to his clock.

"I saw the determination in your eyes, I watched your hands work, I watched the hope light up around you as you focused on keeping that boy alive. You breath was heavy; your brows were knitted in sheer concentration. I watched you glance from the boy's face back to the heart monitor over and over again. It was very powerful to watch and heart breaking to know that everything you did couldn't prolong the inevitable for long. But you persevered. Your tenacity knows no bounds; your heart only exceeds your head where you believe in never giving up. I watched with admiration as you proceeded to command, take control over the uncontrollable. Your spirit kept the hope alive until the monitor stopped recognizing a heartbeat. I was there the whole time watching you calmly try your absolute best to get it started again. I know you wanted to give that boy s fighting chance. Everyone could see it. And you succeeded. You gave that boy the hope that he so deserved even to the very end. And, everyone knew you were trying your damnedest. I was so proud of you. Even when you left the room to escape the beeping sounds and I saw the devastation on your face, your mind was going through the procedure over and over. I can assure you, Henrik, that you didn't miss a single step; you didn't make a single mistake. And you knew it. It was only when you had to deliver the news that I saw your confidence sink. Yet you knew the entire time, you didn't make a single damn mistake. Your selflessness, determination, and humbleness was and is everything that anyone can ever ask for, even if you don't always succeed at what you are trying to accomplish."

Henrik sobbed quietly biting his lip to keep from interrupting the beautiful speech. In his mind, the whole time the demon spoke, he imagined Anti sitting quietly in silence admiring the doctor from afar while he worked on that little boy. He imagined Anti walking behind him down the corridor following him to the waiting room. He imagined Anti standing above him as he crouched in front of the boy's parents to give them the tragic news. Anti admired him. Anti truly saw him for what he really is: a good person. He is a smart, talented, determined human that wanted to give nothing but life and ask for nothing return.

"I'm sorry for your loss today, Henrik. I know you desperately wanted to save him. But sometimes, life and death have other plans. The only thing we can do is know that what we did to help get through it, or to it, was by knowing our damn best was given. No one can take your hope from you, Henrik. No one."

Henrik shivered when he felt Anti press a light kiss into his hair. It was unexpected, but nice all the same only reassuring the doctor that he was safe in Anti’s arms. Anti just kept stroking his hair wiping away sweat from his brow.

"I'm here for you, Henrik. What do you need. Tell me."

"You've done more than I ever thank you for...I..." he faltered not knowing what he needed. Instead, Henrik turned over in the demon's arms snuggling his head underneath Anti's chin getting as close as he could to the warmth. His terror and lack of trust for the demon not to kill him was completely gone. After that moving speech, Henrik wanted nothing more than to just use Anti as his safety blanket. Henrik wanted more of the warmth; he wanted to feel wanted hoping that he wouldn’t get pushed away. Henrik sighed internally when he felt Anti in turn re-wrap his long arms around his quivering body bringing them chest to chest and let his warm hands roam over the muscles in his back encouraging him into a much needed slumber.

"I..." Henrik tried, but failed to talk as the back rub was working.

"Shhh, it's okay. Just sleep, now. Rest your eyes, Henrik."

"Will...will you stay with me?" he asked sheepishly swallowing a nervous lump in his throat.

"Of course, Henrik; anything you need,” Anti replied into his hairline brushing his lips against Henrik’s skin.

Henrik closed his eyes and sighed enjoying the rubbing on his back. "Thank you..."

It wasn't long after that Henrik fell into a peaceful sleep wrapped in the comforting arms of his friend.

****

Henrik awoke alone in bed the next morning slightly disappointed that he didn't get to say good bye to the demon. He sat up underneath covers and wiped his eyes removing the crusty sleep and dry tears from his cheeks. He yawned softly and stretched his arms behind his back. He smiled slightly realizing that Anti had put the covers back over him to keep him warm. Henrik smiled at the sun light beaming into his window casting a beautiful yellow glow into the bedroom.

Henrik unwrapped his body from the covers putting his feet on the floor. As he stood, he was stopped by a thumping sound on his carpet. He froze turning his head to where the sound landed. He looked over the side of his bed and his eyes went wide at what he saw.

On the floor, half covered by his bed sheet, lay a small little deep blue box with a light blue ribbon wrapped around it. The ribbon was the same color as the doctor's eyes. Henrik leant down picking it up. Whatever was in it was light and manageable; almost weightless. He sat back down on the bed studying the package before he removed the ribbon and opened the box.

A big smile crossed his face as he pulled out a note and a fresh blue surgical mask. He wiped a tear from his eye at Anti's gesture. The demon gave him a new mask as a symbol to keep on going; to not give up no matter how hard it got. At least, in Henrik's mind’s eye, that’s what he expected this amazing present to mean. Either way, he was so grateful that he wanted to cry again. After the horrible day, ended on a good note, Henrik couldn’t help but feel slight affection for the demon. It was the most selfless thing Anti had ever done. He set the mask down on his bedding and unfolded the note reading it silently.

'Thought you could use a new one. Happy birthday' - Anti


End file.
